Guest post by Michele Feeney Interfaith Celebrant & Registered Solemniser.
As a celebrant, one question I am often asked is “ what’s trending in ceremony?’
There is a very simple answer - Nothing !
Simply because every, and I do mean every, ceremony is different and unique, ceremonies will contain the same elements but become different relative to the couple, for instance take the Unity candle set.
Traditionally for this we have an arrangement of three candles , we take the two outer candles and each of the couple lights one of these candles which symbolises their individuality and that they are present as individuals at that moment in time. Later in the ceremony the couple then use their individual candle to join their flames lighting the Unity candle celebrating their unity .
Another beautiful way to do this is to ask the mother or guardian of each of the couple to light the individual candles in honour of the couple who then share that light to light the unity candle, here we are weaving the families together along with the couple , and a third option is the couple light one single candle together to open their ceremony making unity the theme of the wedding and I almost forgot in place of candles some couple opt to use the tree and locks or even the Sand blending. So just like that something simple and traditional can be done in many ways
These elements, we call ceremony enhancements, and there is a long long list of enhancements to your ceremony from Music, Poetry, Readings, The Oathing stone, Prayers, Blessings, Ring Warming, salt pouring , Tree planting, The Quaich, Your story , Handfasting, Chord warming … The list is endless.
All of these enhancements make your ceremony flow beautifully and engage your guests.
However the most important part to your ceremony, the Heart of your ceremony - is your marriage vows, your ceremony is a celebration of you as a couple and so your vows will reflect your lives together to date and the promises you are making to each other as you walk into the future together. Your ceremony is built around your vows and celebrating what you as a couple love whilst including family and friends closely.
Your family and friends play a very important role in your lives and to honour that within your ceremony it can be lovely to ask your guests to offer their communal support - where as the celebrant I ask all to repeat a few words of love and wisdom after me, bestowing these words upon the newly married couple.
Everyone has then become a part of your marriage ceremony!
And this sets such a beautiful mood of togetherness for your day.
And don’t worry I am on hand to help when it comes to writing your vows, as it can seem quite a daunting task, but it’s not, I promise.
Writing your vows is the most special parts of designing your unique ceremony.
Now I will admit as I look back on the last year, one of the most popular elements I have included in marriage ceremonies is Handfasting … This speaks to so many couples as it is an ancient Celtic tradition, most people are unsure of how it originated and I am sure there are many stories but from my research This originates from Celtic Ireland before we had churches or governmental marriage, The Elder Druids performed coupling ceremonies, they were said to have bound or fastened the wrists of the couple together with a chord whilst praying over them and blessing their marriage.
This evolved into today what we know as Hand Fasting, where we use all kinds of wonderful coloured chords and ribbons , each colour bestowing a blessing in its own rite upon the couples unified hands.
As you read you will find the common thread that flows through your ceremony is celebrating your union and your love for each other , thats what a marriage ceremony is. In the presence of your loved ones, proclaiming your love for each other, its is such a special moment in time that will never be repeated so together in your ceremony we make it a memory that each and every guest will never forget.
So you may ask how does the whole process work?
It’s easy and fun together we meet in person where possible and where not with the convenience and magic of modern technology we can meet any time of the day that suits , even when we are in different time zones. And through chats and a little decision making we design your perfect ceremony incorporating all that you love whether you want a lot or a little the choice really is yours think of it like a blank canvas and we are drawing the picture.
For me, your marriage ceremony should be a celebration full of love and laughter. It should be relaxed and encompass everything that you are and love, your ceremony should be a reflection of you and it is my priority that all you have to do on your wedding day is show up and be present so that you can soak up every moment of love that is in the room and truly enjoy your ceremony .
Michele Feeney
Interfaith Celebrant & registered Solemniser
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